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iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS


rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.


i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this

iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this

(Source: braingremlin)

  • Person: Why do you find the concept of pregnancy freaky? It's natural and beautiful!
  • Me: ...
  • Me: A small creature exists, basically helpless and absolutely guaranteed to die without the vital nutrients and energy it is sapping from the grown body it is currently attached to. The bigger it gets, the more pain and discomfort it causes, until it finally leaves the mature body it has been living off of in a bloody, unappealing process guaranteed to leave the mature body in a state of extreme pain and/or misery.
  • Person: ...
  • Me: The fact that you cannot tell me whether I was just taking about a baby or a parasite is why I hate the idea of being pregnant. Now get the fuck out of my face.

http://moniquill.tumblr.com/post/92845206876/cinnamonbunzuh-chubbychoco-friendly-reminder

scribbleowl:

cinnamonbunzuh:

chubbychoco:

Friendly reminder that K A Applegate had anti-racist, anti-sexist, pro-nonbinary gender, pro-nonbinary sexuality, pro-environmental, and pro-tolerance messages in a book series aimed at children. She also encouraged readers to appreciate the goods things…

I AM REGRETFUL THESE DAYS THAT I LET MY BROTHER SHAME ME INTO GIVING THOSE BOOKS UP. CAUSE FUCK. She is my writing inspiration. The first fanfic I wrote was an Animorphs fanfic. The first website I made was an Animorphs fansite. Fuck being shamed to buying rack paperback novels. She is genuinely one of the reasons I love writing and understand what a seemingly simple text can do. The series certainly wasn’t perfect, but it was exactly what I needed at that time.

I know it’s not the same as owning the paperbacks, but they’re available for free online - even the side stories like The Ellimist Chronicles.

meowgon:

☆★♡☆★♡MEOWGON’S 1500 FOLLOWER GIVEAWAY☆★♡☆★♡

it’s that time of year again: the time where i send you dicks. this is my third sex toy giveaway and you know the third time’s the charm, so what better time to give away $100 to bad dragon

that’s right $100. i will buy you anything on bad dragon’s website up to $100, including shipping. shipping is about $11 for the US and $33 for international so even international folks can get a $60ish dick. god bless.

RULES
☆ u don’t have to follow me
☆18 or older so help me
☆ likes and reblogs count
☆ keep ur ask box open
☆ you’ll have to gimme your address
☆ ends friday august 1st, 6 am in japan

if you follow me for this giveaway i hope you like cats and yowapedal because that’s all you’ll get

dontapproach:

im sorry when you said serious alien wars i thought you meant cute pastry recon missions???

What…a ship? o_o For some reason it never dawned on me that there would be non-canon ships Animorphs and I???
Anyway, I like the comic.

Spoilers for the ending of the Animorphs book series beneath the cut.

Read More

thatonenerdybroad:

eddietg:

If you own a dog, please share.

Even if you don’t own a dog, please share

thatonenerdybroad:

eddietg:

If you own a dog, please share.

Even if you don’t own a dog, please share

ngoziu:

Illogical. There exist no such device to measure—

my levels of sass captain

kristinkemper:

Some people never change. Some do…

I painted these portraits as a very fond tribute to the characters whose story essentially defined my life between the ages of 10 and 15. They are available individually or all together in my INPRNT shop!

strontiumsun:

familiaralien:

joe-raffe:

fleshprince:

this is a cool test that gives you an rpg class and there are 100 possible results check it out

The Mirror Mage

40% Strength, 15% Bloodlust, 45% Intelligence, 30% Spirit, 22% Vitality and 37% Agility!

The Warrior Monk

35% Strength, 18% Bloodlust, 15% Intelligence, 23% Spirit, 43% Vitality and 22% Agility!

The Grand Diviner

22% Strength, 27% Bloodlust, 52% Intelligence, 35% Spirit, 25% Vitality and 20% Agility!

The Rune Weaver

20% Strength, 20% Bloodlust, 30% Intelligence, 43% Spirit, 38% Vitality and 37% Agility